cyberspace checksum complete, online.
(work in progress)
You don’t know your future self, but your future self knows you
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In the near future, you are making dinner because you are about to meet your girlfriend’s dad for the first time. All you have in the kitchen is cooked frozen steaks. In walks your girlfriend and her dad, Gordon Ramsey.
This isn’t a prompt, this a fully finished horror story
Gordon ramsay, knowing this is not a high end resturaunt and you cannot afford to buy high end steaks, and that you do not claim to be a professional chef, appreciates the gesture and even gives some pointers on how one can cook on a budget and you all have a great time.
When I die, bury me with a headstone etched with cryptic text that HEAVILY implies my grave is cursed or that I’m a vampire. Just to give future generations something to have fun with, you know?
this would guarantee that goth kids would chill on my grave and write shitty poetry and punk lyrics about me and that is exactly what I want
Hermione Granger: *comes from muggle world and discovers magic*
Hermione Granger: *witnesses humans transfigure into animals*
Hermione Granger: *time-travels multiple times per day*
Professor Trelawney: “I can prophesize the future.”
Hermione Granger: “Bullshit. That can’t be possible. Fuck you.”
How Obama joked: here is a video of my birth *shows clip from Lion King*
How Trump jokes: haha my vice president wants to kill all the gay people
Hey future historians, please note that although tumblr is a fountain of hyberbolic sarcasm, there is exactly 0% sarcasm or hyperbole in this post.
be careful what you post online because future employers might see it and want to hang out with you because you’re so cool
My DM has mentioned the possibility of my character’s death as a few too many NPC’s who can see the future so I’m worried that he might kill him off. So just in case he does and I’m not happy with it, I have some truly awful backup characters to pull out such as:
- A half-orc barbarian who’s just Shrek
- A Kenku that only communicates via a Duke Nukem soundboard
- Paul of House Blart, Paladin of Ma’all, God of Justice and Mercantile
- A gnome bard who exclusively plays Crazy Frog songs
- And a Teenage Mutant Ninja Tortle
Friendly reminder
“In a healthy relationship, your partner hears you out if you’re upset, and their goal is to avoid upsetting you in the future, not to debate whether you should have been upset in the first place.”
TAKE THIS LITERALLY!!!! IN EVERY SITUATION!!! NO EXCEPTION!!
my utopia
The drag queen from this photo has spoken up about the photo.
I won’t speak for all liberals, but I’d like to see a future where it isn’t a big deal for a woman in full modesty garb to sit next to a drag queen in NYC. It’s become a bit of a sensation, but her and I were just existing. The freedom to simply be yourself in a sea of people who aren’t like you is a freedom we all deserve.
The central irony is that this isn’t some hypothetical future–it’s just present day reality. This is a picture of two ordinary people going about their normal lives despite how haters want to politicize it lmao. So the underlying message is not “future liberals want” it’s “people conservatives want to eradicate”
the underlying message is not “future liberals want” it’s “people conservatives want to eradicate”
I wish more people cared about the future of this beautiful and majestic planet of ours